Nobody Said It Was Easy
by Alty Is On Fire. Literally
Summary: Some of Maine's thoughts after he was thrown off the cliff in Season 8. ONE-SHOT


**A/N:** I wrote this while listening to The Scientist by Coldplay, so, yay sadness.

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The pain, that's all the white armored Freelancer could think about as he laid there motionless on the cold cold ground... Snow was all around him, and he watched the new snowflakes fall onto his golden EVA visor. Such a horrible life he had lived... It all started with that one mission. One mission is all it took to make his life a living hell. Once he was shot in the throat... Once he got Sigma... Once he killed North...

_Why can't I have one more chance..?_ The white armored Freelancer asked himself.

_Just one more... I wish I could just relive my whole life. To at least say I'm sorry..._ He growled lowly, not a low threatening growl, but a sad one. One that held all the pain he felt.

_Here, maybe he'll be able to hear me. Maybe they all will be able to hear me._ He thought and turned his head to look up at the sky. The gray sky that he wished was blue, and the snow on the ground, he wished that it was green grass, a beautiful shade of dark green...

The snowflakes still fell onto his golden visor, and he wished for the nights he would sit in that small room in the Freelancer base, and watch the snow fall onto the ground. When his best friend, Washington, would come in and laugh at him for watching the snow. Call him a "Soft but mentally unstable little kid". He would laugh and turn back to watch the snow fall.

But now, all he wished was for the snow to leave, and for the grass to show under his armored body, and for this heavy white and orange armor to come off. He wanted to be looking up at the bright blue sky, not the gray clouds of winter.

He growled in anger, and felt something wet run down his cheek and back to his neck. At first he thought it was blood, but then he figured out it was a tear.

He was crying, something he hadn't done since he was very, very little.

_Here we go then..._ He thought with a sigh.

_I'm sorry North, I didn't want to kill you in front of your sister. I'm sorry Theta, I didn't want to kill York, I know you cared about him. I'm sorry Delta, I shouldn't of taken you from that blue guy... Caboose? I don't remember anything anymore..._

He stopped and felt another tear stream down his cheek as he started again.

_I'm sorry Carolina, I shouldn't of blamed everything on you... Texas, I'm sorry, I shouldn't of killed you, even though you were a big bitch._

He stopped again, the tears running down his cheeks heavily now.

_And, Wash... I am so terribly sorry... I-I caused you the most pain. The pain of losing a friend. You know, he wanted to kill you, but I couldn't. I would never kill someone like you Wash, ever. I shouldn't of left. I should of asked you for help. I didn't, because you were still getting over Epsilon. Oh my God Wash... I miss you so much._ He stopped and took in a breathe. The tears weren't stopping as he tried to hold them back. No one was watching him, so he stopped trying to hold them back as he saw that the snowflakes started to slowly stop, and the gray clouds started to leave.

He looked down at his left hand, and started to dig through the snow. He dug until he saw that dark shade of green. That green color he wanted so badly. He tugged one of the grass stems out of the soil, and held it carefully in his gloved hands.

He carefully removed his right glove. He felt the coldness touch his hands, and it felt as if it drained all the warmness from them.

He ignored the bitter cold, and instead felt the dark green grass stem. It reminded him of the days off of training. When he could just lay around outside under a tree and do nothing. He'd sometimes watch the other Agents joke around, though he never asked to join them.

They didn't like him, they thought he was stupid, and mean. Though he could be the exact opposite.

He wasn't stupid, no, not at all. He just chose to not show how smart he could really be, so they called him "stupid".

He could be nice when he chose to, but everyone would talk to him after he lost a training match, or got into an argument with someone else. So that made him automatically "mean".

Wash was the only one who actually understood him. Wash knew when to talk to him, and when to just leave him alone. He also always seemed to know how to cheer him up.

He sighed again and realized he couldn't feel his hand. He thought about leaving it out, but he killed the thought, and slipped his hand back into his warm glove.

He then thought about giving up and just taking off his armor to freeze to death. He killed that thought too.

_I will never give up!_ He growled angrily, and then noticed that the sky was a bright and beautiful blue color.

He sighed happily and closed his eyes for a second, then he opened them again.

_Wash, I am truly and deeply sorry about everything I ever did. If I could see you again, no, I will see you again. I will see that gray and yellow armor of yours, and those blue eyes, and blond hair..._ He smiled at the thought.

_Wash, we'll be able to joke around again, just like old times. Before the AI's, before everything went to hell._ The tears started again, and this time, he just let the flow freely down his cheeks.

_Wash, you are the best friend ever... Of all time._


End file.
